If I Should Wake Before I Die

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Branch

Aerith, Tifa, Cloud, and Zack all support and comfort each other, and death is nothing to get in the way of them doing so. An arc of Aerith/Tifa/Cloud/Zack, in all combinations.

Ink Burns

This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.

This is a work of fanfiction, produced according to the principles of transformative fair use as put forward in US copyright law, and abiding by the custom and practice of fan-produced work in Japan, where the source texts were created. No author is in any way affiliated with any of the creators of the source texts, nor with the companies who distribute their products, nor any other rights holder, and these stories were not authorized by either the creators or the producers. Ink Burns is a fan site and the material here is freely provided for the enjoyment of fellow fan-community members; there is no commercial infringement.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 US license at the Ink Burns fanfiction archive (http://www.branchandroot.net/archive/).

"If I Should Wake Before I Die #1" published on 2006-01-16 21:32:46.

"If I Should Wake Before I Die #2" published on 2006-01-17 21:41:52.

"If I Should Wake Before I Die #3" published on 2006-02-02 21:45:34.

"If I Should Wake Before I Die #4" published on 2006-02-02 21:51:02.

Attributions can be made by author's name and a link to the archive.

This ebook edition was published on September 6, 2019 by the Ink Burns fanfiction archive.

Cover illustration is "The Stone Bridge" by Rembrandt, public domain (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rembrandt_Harmensz._van_Rijn_077.jpg).

Cover design by Branch.

If I Should Wake Before I Die #1

After the first trip to the Forgotten City, Aerith comes to reassure Tifa and ask a favor. Drama with Romance, I-3

Tifa curled on her side, biting her lip. She didn't want to start crying again; it only wasted time and energy. Oshou-sama had always been after her about wasting energy in extraneous movement. Smoothly, Tifa, she could hear him barking. Stop flourishing and put everything into the strike!

Of course, maybe he was dead, too, now. Just like everyone else she got close to.

She hugged her pillow to her, biting down harder. Sleep. She needed to sleep, now, and in the morning... they'd think of something. Somehow.

Something.

At least the tears had worn her out. She could already feel herself drifting, down into that odd first layer of sleep where her mind still turned over thoughts and plans but her body gave up and stilled into rest. When the darkness behind her eyes lightened she thought, dream.

It was a rather nice one. Warm and soft and a lot brighter than most of her dreams, lately, which tended to have a lot of fire and screaming and blood-dulled silver in them.

"Tifa."

She liked this a lot better; she'd almost swear she could smell grass and flowers, the hot, heavy, green scent they got under a good summer sun.

"Tifa! Come on. One of you has got to listen to me!"

Tifa blinked. Aerith was standing right in front of her, frowning, with her hands on her hips. "Ae... Aerith?" She could feel her lips trembling around the name.

Aerith's frown softened. "Oh, Tifa. It's all right, really. I'm fine. Now, listen..."

Tifa reached out and felt her fingers brush through a soft, wavy wing of hair, and lost it completely. The tears rushed back and hit her in the chest, and her knees buckled, and she found herself curled up again pressing a fistful of Aerith's skirt to her cheek as she cried.

"Tifa," Aerith whispered above her, and then she was stooping down to gather Tifa against her. "Shh. Shh, now, it's all right."

When Tifa could think again, she found herself lying with her head buried in Aerith's lap, catching her breath slowly as Aerith stroked her hair. Finally she said, voice gluey with tears, "How can it be all right?"

Aerith sighed. "Do I look any worse for the wear?"

Tifa lifted her head and looked. "Well. No." She managed a shaky smile and pulled herself upright again. And then she frowned and reached out to tilt Aerith's chin. "You do look kind of tired, actually."

Aerith's smile was wry. "Yeah, well." Her bright eyes shadowed for a moment. "It isn't all that easy to hold myself together, right now."

Tifa's emotions reversed polarity fast enough to make her dizzy, and she put a protective arm around Aerith. "Are you all right? What's wrong?" Then she made a face and muttered, "Besides the obvious."

Aerith broke into giggles and couldn't seem to stop, leaning against Tifa's shoulder. "Ah. Oh, dear." She wiped her eyes. "Well. Yes." She took a long breath and looked at Tifa more seriously. "Listen. When you can, try to tell Cloud it wasn't his fault, all right? He's so wound up over this! He can't even hear me when I'm practically shouting."

"I'll try." Tifa's mouth quirked wryly. "Repeatedly, I expect." Aerith made a face.

"I'll just bet." She sighed, curling up into Tifa's side a little more.

"Aerith," Tifa said, gently. "Really. What's wrong?"

"I just don't know if I'll be able to make it work out." Aerith held her hands out, studying them. "I'll do my very best, of course. I know we all will. But—"

The brightness flickered.

Aerith spat a word that shocked even Tifa, used as she was to Barrett's language. "Sephiroth! Tifa, listen—"

"Aerith!" Tifa caught her hands, eyes wide. She couldn't hear Aerith any more.

Aerith's mouth tilted and her shoulders heaved. Then she squeezed Tifa's hands and smiled and leaned toward her.

"... wake up and let's get going!" Barrett's large hand was shaking her shoulder and Tifa sat up. Barrett frowned. "Hey. You okay?"

"Yes," Tifa said, distracted. "Why?"

"You're rubbing your head. Got a headache?"

A breath of laughter puffed through Tifa's lips and her fingers brushed one more time over her forehead where she could still feel Aerith's lips. "No." She smiled softly.

"I'm all right."

End

If I Should Wake Before I Die #2

After calling up the Lifestream, Aerith recovers and Zack teases. Romance with Drama, I-2

Aerith slumped in Zack's arms, trying to catch her breath, still seeing life-sparks of green dancing in front of her eyes every time she blinked. "How... can I be out of breath... if I haven't got a body!" she panted. "This is so unfair."

"No need to move on my account," Zack murmured.

She managed a laugh. "Oh, I get it. You just want more chances to cuddle."

"While you're too worn out to hit me for wandering hands, yep," he agreed cheerfully.

"Zack!" She did manage to swat his shoulder, though it was a bit shaky as chastisements went.

"Well, come on, what better restorative for the lady who saved the world... ?" She could hear the grin in his voice as his hand slid down to her hip.

The next swat was a lot firmer. "You!" And then Aerith sighed and let herself relax against him again.

"Aerith?" Zack tipped her chin up, looking at her curiously. "Since when do you give in that easy, without at least tickling me until I squeak?"

She could feel her smile tremble around the edges. "It seems like a waste of time, and I don't know how much we'll have."

Now Zack looked alarmed. "What do you mean? It worked, right? Meteor is gone and we're all safe."

"Yes, Zack." Aerith ran her fingers through his hair, smiling more surely, if sadly, at the familiar springy-soft texture. "But I don't know how long you have before the Lifestream draws you away."

Zack blinked at her. "As long as you stay, I'm staying too."

Aerith bit her lip. "How long do you think you can resist the pull, though? I..." she traced the line of his shoulder-guard, watching her fingertip on the cool metal instead of his face, "I think I'm going to stay concentrated for a long time. I'm the last one. And you're not..." A finger on her lips interrupted her.

"Not Cetra? No, I'm not." Zack shrugged. "But my exceedingly great grandparents were, right? Nothing to say I can't figure it out." There was no compromise at all in his expression, despite the lightness of his tone. "I'm staying."

She looked at him for a long moment. "Well, you're certainly the most stubborn person I've ever met," she allowed. "Who knows?" She couldn't quite help hoping that it was true; that it could be true.

"Besides," he added, leaning back, "I need to stick around and make sure Cloud doesn't totally cock up his life. Again. You know he'll try to, even with our girl Tifa looking after him. Though she has grown up well, I have to say." He looked as proud as if he'd had something to do with it and Aerith leaned her head on his shoulder, laughing.

"You have a point." Besides, she was way too worn out right now to argue. She'd try believing in him, instead.

After all, it was only fair to return the favor.

End

If I Should Wake Before I Die #3

A bit after game-end, Cloud broods over Zack's sword and gets a visitor. Romance with Angst, I-3

Dust puffed up as Cloud drove the sword into the ground.

It took him a moment to pull his hand away from the hilt, and then he stood just staring at it. His new sword was an excellent one, but this... this was Zack's sword.

"Which is why you have no right to use it, idiot," Cloud muttered to himself, slumping down to sit beside it. His hand still stole back out to touch the blade.

"You're going to cut yourself, playing around like that. Don't you know better, by now?"

Cloud surged halfway to his feet, only to fall back with a thump, staring. He had to swallow a few times before he found his voice; when he did it was hoarse. "Zack?"

On the other side of the sword, Zack put his hands on his hips and grinned. "In the flesh." After a considering pause he added, "Only not, of course." He looked down the length of his body with a critical expression. "She's right, this really does take it out of you. We should make this quick."

Cloud bowed his head, dozens of childhood whispers dinning in his ears. Something left undone could hold a spirit to the world; and surely someone like Zack had had hundreds of things left undone, and now he couldn't rest, and it was entirely Cloud's fault. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Zack sounded startled. "What for?"

"If you can't move on... I..." Cloud stared down at the dust. "It's my fault."

There was a sigh and then a small thud, and Zack was sitting beside him. "I realize it may be hard to believe after the past couple months, but, honest, not everything in the world hinges on you personally." Zack sounded patient, now, and Cloud's head sank a little lower.

"I know that," he protested. "But..." He looked up and couldn't get another word out in face of the wry smile Zack wore.

"Let me guess. You think you got me killed."

Cloud might have been out of it at the time, but he remembered enough to be very clear about the fact that he had gotten Zack killed. Since Zack obviously didn't agree, though, he shrugged and looked away. "It isn't just that."

Zack leaned back on his hands. "So what is it?"

Cloud raked a smudged hand through his hair, embarrassed and guilty, and a little annoyed that Zack was going to make him say it out loud. "Damn it, Zack, I was pretending to be you! Claiming to be you!" A glint off the sword caught Cloud's eye and he slumped again, muttering, "Running around, waving your sword, telling everyone I was a SOLDIER First Class, and used to be Sephiroth's friend, and..." The sheer humiliation of it choked him. "You can't possibly tell me you aren't pissed off about that."

"Sure I can." Zack chuckled as Cloud's head whipped up to stare at him. "Cloud, you idiot, you were sicker with transition than anyone else I've ever seen, and by the time you could put two words together in a row all the physical evidence and memories you had pointed to you being me. Why should I be mad at you about that?"

Cloud opened his mouth and closed it again, nonplussed by this attack of logic.

"Besides," Zack crossed his ankles comfortably, "you did a good job of being me. Saved the world and everything." He smiled at Cloud, eyes sparkling behind the glow. "I'm not mad. I'm actually pretty damn proud of you."

Cloud's chest suddenly felt light and shaky, and he swallowed against a hot tightness in his throat. "Zack..."

"I mean, look at how well you turned out. You are First Class, now, my friend." Just as Cloud thought he might have to look away or cry, the sparkle turned into a gleam. "Of course, some things never change."

Cloud yelped as Zack tackled him into the dust and glared up at his captor. "Zack!"

Zack grinned down at him. "Too much seriousness is bad for you."

Cloud's eyes narrowed and he growled. He remembered that line. And, while he might have gotten pummeled like a little kid three or four years ago, things damn well had changed, now. He twisted and heaved, and bared his teeth in a grin of his own when it actually worked and dumped Zack off him. He dove after.

They thrashed back and forth though the rising clouds of yellow until Zack finally got his weight over Cloud's hips and both Cloud's hands in a good grip. By then they were both out of breath and laughing.

"I'm going to win next time," Cloud declared, wriggling his wrists to test Zack's grip.

And it did loosen for a second, but in an odd way. Cloud frowned. He frowned more when Zack muttered, "Aw, hell."

"What? Zack? What is it?"

The smile he got this time was a little more crooked than normal. "Just reality catching up with us again." Before Cloud could ask what he meant, Zack shook him a little. "Listen. It wasn't your fault, Cloud. And I'm still here. Remember." His expression turned considering. "Actually... why don't I make sure of that."

Just as Cloud's brain was starting to catch up to who and where they were and what must be happening, Zack swooped down and kissed him. Cloud's brain hit the pause button again.

Zack's lips were gritty and his mouth tasted of dust. And then it was just warm, and wet, and the soft pressure of Zack's tongue searching his mouth.

And then it was nothing.

Cloud lay, staring up at the sky, quite alone on the bluff except for the sword. "Damn it, Zack," he whispered, hearing his own voice shake. "I demand a rematch."

A short gust of wind ruffled his hair like an affectionate hand.

End

If I Should Wake Before I Die #4

After Advent Children, Tifa visits the church and finds an unexpected Zack. Romance, I-2

A lot of people came to visit the church, now, but somehow never more than a few at a time. Even so, Tifa liked to be alone when she came. So when she saw someone kneeling in the shadows by the pool she bit her lip and took a step back, meaning to sneak out quietly and come back later.

When the soft morning light slid over broad shoulders and a tight, charcoal shirt, she stepped forward again, meaning to get a look at Cloud's face and see whether or not he needed company.

When the man raised his head and she saw the wild black hair she couldn't hold back a gasp. He looked around, smiling. "There you are."

Tifa caught at the cracked stone pillar next to her, feeling dizzy with shock. "You..." she whispered. "You're..."

"Zack," he supplied, obligingly.

"I remember." She closed the last few steps between them, eyes fixed on him. He looked so real, so there, that her hand lifted to touch and make sure. The amusement in his eyes brought her back to herself before she quite groped a stranger (mostly stranger), and she pulled her hand back quickly. "I'm sorry. I'm—"

"Tifa." He nodded. "I remember, too. Though I have to say," his eyes slid down her body, "you've certainly grown up a lot."

Tifa's face heated at that look and she glared at him. Zack held up his hands, contrite. "Ah, I didn't mean it like that!" He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, okay, I did mean it like that, but not like that."

Tifa sniffed. He wasn't leering like the guys in the bar sometimes did, though, so she let it go and settled down on the still-cool boards beside the pool. The company of someone who was dead was close enough to alone. "So, why are you here?" She frowned. "Actually, how are you here?"

Zack folded his legs and sat back down himself. "Hey, Sephiroth isn't the only stubborn bastard around."

She tried not to flinch at that name and he shook his head, sadness dimming his wry, easy smile. "Aerith taught me, when I finally convinced her I wasn't going anywhere," he said quietly.

"Oh." Tifa looked down at the pool, a smile softening her own lips. "If... if you see her, tell her thank you for me?"

"She heard you when you said it yourself."

Tifa raised her head, startled. "She did?"

Zack's expression was fond. "She blushed. The two of you are awfully cute, you know."

Tifa was pretty sure she was blushing herself. Zack waved a hand, pretending not to notice. "It's hard to be here like this," he went on, "but we're not really gone you know. It isn't that hard to keep track of you and Cloud."

"Oh." Cloud and her? Why her?

"Harder for you to keep an eye on us, which is why I'm here, actually." His hand closed around hers, warm and solid. "I wanted to thank you," he told her, eyes serious and level and as warm as his hand. "Thank you for taking such good care of Cloud. Thank you for caring for Aerith, when she was with you." The tilted smile returned. "You've been a fantastic guide, all along." He lifted her hand and her eyes widened as he kissed her palm, soft and slow, earnest gaze fixed on hers.

"I—" She took a breath and tried again, without squeaking this time. "You're... you're welcome, of course."

He grinned at her and stood, tossing her a casual salute. "We'll be seeing you, then."

The rising sun finally spilled down into his corner of the church and he was gone.

Tifa huffed and pressed her closed hand to her chest. "I see what Cloud means, about you," she muttered. The pool rippled merrily in the clear light, and she reached out and touched a fingertip to the surface of the water, smiling. "Yeah. You take care of him, too, then. Okay?"

She lingered beside the pool, enjoying the sunlight that lay over her shoulders like a friendly arm.

End